Ruth was also my friend, my own personal friend. I had actually forgotten that until I started researching this era for UBW where I ran across the evidence.  I corresponded with her for years after I left Boston, going to Finland, SLC and Brazil. In retrospect it appears I stayed in touch with her for about 15 years. Not frequently to be sure, but several times a year and not just at Xmas.   I suppose I viewed her as a surrogate grandmother in Boston, though I didn’t actually think of her that way. She was more like I imagine family member should be than mine have been - the defect being perhaps entirely mine. She always was interested if I talked to her, she asked questions about what I was doing which showed she cared. Adults shout their lack of interest by the bored questions and perfunctory responses as their eyes anxiously search the environment for an escape. Particularly in a Harvard environment.  But not Ruth. She was intent when she talked to anyone.
       I need to go back and emphasize the “Harvard environment” for you.  Do you have any idea how intimidating that was?  Remember. I was 14 when we moved there, when I first went to MCZ, when I first met the Romers.  I was an awkward kid who was naturally shy and insecure anyway. The move from rainy backward Seward to the elegant, historical, prestigious setting of Harvard and boston upset my equilibrium. Dick and I were used to wearing tee shirts and dirty levis and boots every day walking around a muddy little town where the tallest building was 2 stories high, no concrete sidewalks, no paved streets, and street lights that went out occasionally.  This was the equation that you need to think about Ruth and her chemistry.
     Ruth was a reassuring adult who would pause and listen, and express authentic interest.  She did no put on airs, was a down-to-earth person who liked everyone and treated them with consideration. It was a relief even though I didn’t feel really comfortable, but at least I trusted her. It was OK when she kidded with me at her Thanksgiving dinner table saying that if I tipped the cranberry jelly on its side that I would have bad luck. It was a tradition in the family that a can of cranberry jelly was cut open on both ends and the jelly was set upright on a bread plate.  Then the jelly was passed around the table with each person taking a spoonful, being careful to not tip it over.  It was fun when she did that.
     Here’s one of the snippets that shows I was still corresponding with Ruth in 1971.  This is from Dr. Romer’s 1971 letter to dad:

 I am the ‘ex-Brazilian son” having returned 2 years earlier from the Amazon.
     I don’t remember off the top of my head what the ‘nice’ thing was that BYU did for dad, but given the fact that I can only think of one -i.e. giving him the honorary (bribe) doctorate- that must be what I was referring to.  It’s the right era. In any event, Dr. Romer’s note reflects awareness that I had written to Ruth - and that Ruth had told him, and that he had remembered it and that he told dad.  Most remarkable, isn’t it that this great man with a lot on his plate would remember a small detail about a man’s children whom he hadn’t seen for 20 years. You see Dr. Romer’s humor as well.  This letter was just a friendship thing, dated 10 years after dad left his museum.
       This snippet shows that I stayed in touch with Ruth.  I’ts from her (hand-typed, as in the old-fashioned typewriter)  letter to dad that was dated March 07, 1974.  That was the second year I was in Ann Arbor. In addition to proving that I did stay in touch with her -proving it to me, not you- this snippet also reveals her on-going interest. She was a remarkable person in many ways and it was this interest that touched me and caused me to return to her in letters over the years.
     I wasn’t aware of her demise until years later, and had no understanding at all until I read dad’s elegy which follows.

Ruth Herself Ruth My Friend George Gaylord Simpson Jim’s Elegiac letter to Sally Dutch Uncle Episode

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